Ms Air is One Tough Cookie

It's like am running mental. I have got my cousins around and my own son isn't hear with me. Is this madness or what? Am I supposed to be in Benin or what?  I shed a tear as I write this because I won't blame my son if he detest me, I brought him into this world. He didn't sign up for this.  Really what in life am I pursuing if I can't die for my children.  I don't mean Kelvin will kill me (well he can), but am saying sacrifice my happiness for theirs. I knew this training will come to an end and difficult choices will be made, but is this how I want to end up. Really??. I don't want to bear his name cause I detest Kelvin, but still I want a life of happiness for my children. MY CHILDREN! !! Can't I even at least try to be close to Osagie. Move to benin and then what happens. ....

So I have my game face on... The power is your hands..... what you are looking for is right with you....... Guy am looking for a means to make substantial income and my mind is blank. Never did I buy the idea of travelling out of the country to hustle,  but now it comes to mind. An idle mind is the devil's workshop is a right saying, cause as jobless as I am, I keep thinking of Sex.  Imagine. ... Anywaz,  back to work..... What can I do???? Inspiration will come my way. Till then fellows.....

Picture of 3 dumb girls gisting in the bus. Too much American film made me believe in soul mate and stuff. I want to believe that when I met K I taught I had found mine. It's had to believe but I guess unknowingly,  I forced myself on him. And am just realising it, but does that change the fact that it is unfair to my children NO. Am just a selfish self centered human being as their father is. (Would have written son of a bitch,  but my mum isn't a bitch, she is too sweet). So anyways, am in a BRT bus writing shit and all, but thinking how beautiful the world is with diverse set of humans. The outcome of my today, should be a lesson of the Wonders of the Almighty Saviour. JUST IN: " are you high on drugs or just solid waste" Later peeps

Have you ever considered the world EXPLOITATION ? So yesterday I saw a lady in traffic sitting in a car and feeding her baby. And what come to my mind was the baby was soo cute and I would love to take a picture.  What stopped me? I don't know. I could have walked up to the couple and asked to take a picture of the baby while he was eating, and if they refused at least I would have tried, but I hesitated and the moment passed by me. Seize the Day is a telemondo I watched once and cant get enough of the its theme music. What am I getting at...... Opportunities come every day that I can take, but one stupid reason or the other, I find an excuse not to do it. Have you or do you feel that way?... I need to start working on it right away. Not all opportunities come twice,Blah Blah.. I know all this stuff but need to put them into Action. I Hope I can continue with this blog, Am enjoying just typing. #smiling

So here I am sitting at this office, bored to my wits end and typing on my desktop. The timing in my life could not be better. Do I just complain all the time or actually work? cause I can imagine myself just dreaming away hours and watching trailers cause I have free internet. Dont have really much to say.... but I feel something coming big.... but I know I ought to be doing something other than sitting and wishing.... life does not suck its intresting.. Kisses

So my Dad's driver has heard all my gist I guess from my parents discussing in the car. Very well !! I am not ashamed of my story, but very motivated so much that I would love to start a reality show on my life. Yea that's me. So, He (that is the driver) is telling me to see a pastor that sees vision.  At first I laughed at the idea, that is because I don't believe God can't talk to me. I know I don't need all that stuff but still i am intrigued. I have only watched that stuff on movies and heard stories from my senior sister, but still experience is the best teacher.  What do you think?☺. Are they going to charge me? They jam rock if so. Am I safe? Dont want to be hypnotised, well no risk no gain. If I don't believe in stuff like that why go disturb myself and waste money on transport? I just want to be aware, Madam ohhhhh! Lord align my thought with your will. I want to see my son oh! The court process is to them too long. Back to church service. 😙

Yesterday was ehh, good and bad. So it started out me thinking of my future and what it holds, the fact that I got no job and I still ain't with my children.  So many things I have got to do and yet no resource to do it. So the new help left the daycare were my boy goes to before time and the mobile phone attached to them was at home. I panicked even when I knew down in my heart they were safe,#smh humans! And then I had two presentations in the office and an assessment, which made me leave the office late. Then, while sitting in th bus I felt tears well up in my eyes, I decided to walk home from Ogba. Yea! That's a distance but still I didn't feel it cause I had music in my ears. I FEEL CHOKED.  I need a run or dance studio or something/somewhere  I can expend all the tension built up in me. My eyes are teary all the time, I can't wake up to read at night again or even watch a movie,  imagine me and movies,  but I can't, I guess am that tensed I just sleep ...